Men Can Stop Rape

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman Jarad A. Denton
  • 28th Bomb Wing Public Affairs
ELLSWORTH AIR FORCE BASE, S.D. --  As Sexual Assault Awareness Month comes to a close, the South Dakota School of Mines and Technology hosted an awareness seminar designed to educate men about rape, April 21.

The event, called "Men Can Stop Rape," dealt with issues surrounding how men, women and society perceive sexual assault.

Joseph Vess, Men Can Stop Rape director of training and technical assistance, asked the men in the audience, "what they do on a daily basis to prevent themselves from being sexually assaulted."

Some of the answers he received from the crowd were statements like, "I surround myself with positive people," "I practice good situational awareness and conflict avoidance," and "I never considered it a possibility."

Mr. Vess posed the same question to the women in the audience. Their responses differed vastly from the men in the group.

"I keep my house and car locked," one woman said.

Others stated, "I don't walk down dark alleys." "I carry pepper spray." "I always watch my drink. I don't give men the wrong impression."

The answers men and women provide when asked this question are always on opposite ends of the spectrum, said Mr. Vess. Men tend to not make sexual assault a priority in their minds, while women often think of sexual assault as being confined to stranger rape.

"The women all listed great tips," said Mr. Vess. "However, stranger rape only accounts for about 10 percent of all sexual assaults. The other 85 to 95 percent of sexual assaults are precipitated by people the victim knows and feels they can trust."

Mr. Vess said these statistics go so far as to stereotype nearly all men as potential rapists.

"We live in an age of sexual confusion," he said. "Today, men are confined by rape because they are perceived as potential rapists."

Mr. Vess added that these confinements are sometimes brought on by preconceived notions held by society.

"When we think about traditional stereotypes of masculinity, some of the ingredients that characterize a rapist are there," he said. "It seems to normalize rape in society."

Later in the presentation, the group was asked to list the qualities of what society perceives as a real man and then compare that list with the qualities people attributed to the strongest man they know in their lives.

"It's important to acknowledge that all men are pulled between these two extremes," Mr. Vess said.

Shannon Holstein, 28th Bomb Wing sexual assault response coordinator, said men may better understand the reality of sexual assault if they are given the proper education regarding it.

"I think we need to educate men on what sexual assault is and what consent is," she said. "If we use real world examples and stories we can get our message across better."

Mr. Vess said consent seems to have evolved into a process of wearing down someone until they give in. He said "real" consent is when there are two willing partners who both agree to move forward. By educating men on these issues Mr. Vess hopes it will help to create a culture free from violence.

"If we challenge people in positive ways, we can help them live their lives and be their absolute best selves," he said.